Damnation by John G. Hartness

Author:John G. Hartness [Hartness, John G.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Falstaff Books

4

I ducked into a restaurant with a sandwich board out front announcing “Live Music Every Day!” and requested a table for one. Then I wove through the tables to the bathroom and locked the door.

I took out my phone. “Dennis, are you there?”

His unicorn face popped onto my screen and he said, “I’m everywhere, baby. Except in your hotel room, which is a good thing. Before you ask, no I can’t get into the hotel security system, because the hard drives burned up and they didn’t back that shit up to the cloud. And yes, all your shit is now toast, so you’re going to need to find a Big & Tall Men’s store to buy some new underwear.”

“And perhaps a t-shirt,” I agreed.

“Nah, there’s plenty of ‘I Support Single Moms’ shirts available on Bourbon.” His image on the screen changed to a stocky young man with a head full of tight red curls wearing a t-shirt with an image of a woman swinging on a pole. The connection took a moment, but when I made it, I laughed.

“I think my life can be considered more or less complete without ever owning a shirt that promotes that level of misogyny,” I said.

“Okay, fine, whatever,” Dennis replied, changing his avatar into a giant frowny face. “I’ve called you an Uber to take you to the nearest tailor that does big and tall work. They have a delivery service, too, so once you get measured and pick out some stuff, they can deliver it to your new hotel. I’ve already got you a reservation at Harrah’s casino, with a new laptop and tablet en route to you.”

“Thank you, Dennis. I will pass on the trip to the tailor for now, however. I wish to speak to these firefighters and police officers.” I pressed the button on the screen to disconnect the call, but Dennis’ face remained.

“Dude. You don’t really think you can actually hang up on me, do you? Not gonna happen. Anyway, nobody is going to talk to you until they’re sure the whole Quarter isn’t going up in flames. Go get some new threads ordered and come back in a couple of hours.”

As much as I longed to push my way through the throngs of people and demand answers from those in charge, I recognized the wisdom in his words. Hopefully my sartorial side trip would allow enough time for the onlookers to disperse and give me an opportunity to speak with the arson inspector. A slight delay would also remove much of the cover for the firebug if he was still in the area.

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